The 3 P's of Authentic Speaking

Public Speaking has been a very intimidating pursuit for many. Experienced speakers have established countless forbidding guidelines that make many aspiring speakers cringed and at times, give up. The gurus have dictated their defined "rules" as if they are proven scientific facts: the way a speaker looks, the way a speaker moves, the way a speaker talks, and a million other pointers. These have made it so impossible for some potentially great speakers who may not fall within the common standards. I have seen some speakers with life-changing messages give up because their foreign accents, the way they look, their voices have been criticized so mercilessly that they withdraw from sharing their messages to audiences who may need their words of wisdom. We cannot all be Tony Robbins or Katy Couric. Following tips from experts isn't bad at all, it may even be very helpful. But not if it sabotages the authentic you; take what applies to you and improve your skills within what is possible for you. We have our own unique style, and it might be just what the world needs to hear and see. Let's simplify speaking by letting our authentic self with our authentic message shine through with these simple 3 P's tips.

Passion. You've heard this many times, I know. But really, this is where it all begins. If you do not believe in your message, it will come through and you will immediately lose your credibility with the audience. Speak about what you believe in, speak about your loves, your convictions, your joys, your causes. Faking it just because a topic happens to be "hot", even if you don't believe in what you are speaking about, will not cut it. So, find your true passion and let that be the foundation of your speaking.

Personality. Your personality is a combination of your life and work experiences, your knowledge and education, the way you look, your voice, your humor, your personal stories, your family history, your culture of origin. For many years, I've tried to copy female newscasters - Katy Couric, Sharon Tay, and a few others. Although my speeches were well received, they were just okay. These speakers are a hit with audiences because they are who they are. I was trying to be but a poor copy. I can't really identify the point when I decided to speak as who I am, it has been a few years ago, but I got up and loosened up. I looked at the audience as my close friends and talked to them as if I was at the dinner table, let my hair down and be me. Modestly speaking, I grew exponentially in my speaking. Many times, I was a hit :-)! Though professional, I am a bit mischievous and brought out the friendly bantering that I enjoy sharing with friends. I've never thought of myself as being funny, but when I loosened up, the audiences were laughing with me. I discovered a part of myself that enhanced my speaking.
Discover your strengths and project those in your speaking instead to trying to copy somebody else's style. Do you tell picturesque stories about your country of origin? Are you good with the oratorical style or the more conversational mode? Are you serious or laid-back? Are you great at humor? Use your own strengths. You have many, ask your friends and family to help you identify them. Give those gifts to your audience in your speaking.

Play. We take ourselves (our egos) too seriously. We need to take our work, the preparation that goes with good speaking, and our messages seriously. But when the time comes to deliver, why not try to play with it. Play brings out the fun in us. It allows us to relax about ourselves and keep our focus on the game. Basically, it allows us to park our egos and devote our attention to reaching the game's goals - in this case, having your audience receive your message. When we play team games, we work with the team. In public speaking, your team is your audience. With the spirit of play, you involve your audience, you allow them their space and their moments of glory, too. You may be the captain at this game, but your audience rises from the passive bench warmer to a team player. You look at your audience differently when you realize that you cannot force them to receive your message, but if you allow them to play on the team, they are now also involved in achieving the goal. Needless to say, they will have more fun listening to you and you will have more fun speaking.

Next time you are tempted to mold yourself after someone else, think about these 3 P's of authentic speaking, and be the best YOU that you can be.