BE THE CHANGE - Tips for Speakers/Trainers on Championing Change

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The 3 P's of Authentic Speaking

Public Speaking has been a very intimidating pursuit for many. Experienced speakers have established countless forbidding guidelines that make many aspiring speakers cringed and at times, give up. The gurus have dictated their defined "rules" as if they are proven scientific facts: the way a speaker looks, the way a speaker moves, the way a speaker talks, and a million other pointers. These have made it so impossible for some potentially great speakers who may not fall within the common standards. I have seen some speakers with life-changing messages give up because their foreign accents, the way they look, their voices have been criticized so mercilessly that they withdraw from sharing their messages to audiences who may need their words of wisdom. We cannot all be Tony Robbins or Katy Couric. Following tips from experts isn't bad at all, it may even be very helpful. But not if it sabotages the authentic you; take what applies to you and improve your skills within what is possible for you. We have our own unique style, and it might be just what the world needs to hear and see. Let's simplify speaking by letting our authentic self with our authentic message shine through with these simple 3 P's tips.

Passion. You've heard this many times, I know. But really, this is where it all begins. If you do not believe in your message, it will come through and you will immediately lose your credibility with the audience. Speak about what you believe in, speak about your loves, your convictions, your joys, your causes. Faking it just because a topic happens to be "hot", even if you don't believe in what you are speaking about, will not cut it. So, find your true passion and let that be the foundation of your speaking.

Personality. Your personality is a combination of your life and work experiences, your knowledge and education, the way you look, your voice, your humor, your personal stories, your family history, your culture of origin. For many years, I've tried to copy female newscasters - Katy Couric, Sharon Tay, and a few others. Although my speeches were well received, they were just okay. These speakers are a hit with audiences because they are who they are. I was trying to be but a poor copy. I can't really identify the point when I decided to speak as who I am, it has been a few years ago, but I got up and loosened up. I looked at the audience as my close friends and talked to them as if I was at the dinner table, let my hair down and be me. Modestly speaking, I grew exponentially in my speaking. Many times, I was a hit :-)! Though professional, I am a bit mischievous and brought out the friendly bantering that I enjoy sharing with friends. I've never thought of myself as being funny, but when I loosened up, the audiences were laughing with me. I discovered a part of myself that enhanced my speaking.
Discover your strengths and project those in your speaking instead to trying to copy somebody else's style. Do you tell picturesque stories about your country of origin? Are you good with the oratorical style or the more conversational mode? Are you serious or laid-back? Are you great at humor? Use your own strengths. You have many, ask your friends and family to help you identify them. Give those gifts to your audience in your speaking.

Play. We take ourselves (our egos) too seriously. We need to take our work, the preparation that goes with good speaking, and our messages seriously. But when the time comes to deliver, why not try to play with it. Play brings out the fun in us. It allows us to relax about ourselves and keep our focus on the game. Basically, it allows us to park our egos and devote our attention to reaching the game's goals - in this case, having your audience receive your message. When we play team games, we work with the team. In public speaking, your team is your audience. With the spirit of play, you involve your audience, you allow them their space and their moments of glory, too. You may be the captain at this game, but your audience rises from the passive bench warmer to a team player. You look at your audience differently when you realize that you cannot force them to receive your message, but if you allow them to play on the team, they are now also involved in achieving the goal. Needless to say, they will have more fun listening to you and you will have more fun speaking.

Next time you are tempted to mold yourself after someone else, think about these 3 P's of authentic speaking, and be the best YOU that you can be.
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Virtual Training, Webinars, Teleseminars -Something's Missing - Let's FACE it!

Many are asking "What's Missing?", in virtual training, webinars, and teleseminars. When we take our face-to-face presentations to virtual space, somehow we leave a piece of us behind, and our interaction with the audience isn't quite as dynamic as they are in person. Webinars and teleseminars are gaining more and more popularity because of the ease of technology, the elimination of the need to travel, and the flexibility that they offer. However, we need to be ever so conscious about the way we deliver in these new environments to make sure we keep the attendees involved. When we take our face-to-face delivery to virtual space, what's missing? The FACE, of course. We miss the visual feedback that tells the presenter how s/he is being received and perceived by the audience. Therefore, we often miss the clues as to how we adjust our presentation techniques to keep the audience engaged. Whether we facilitate virtual training, virtual meetings, or deliver teleseminars, it's good to remember to keep our FACE.
F - Fun factor
A - Activities
C - Collaboration
E - Energy


F - Fun Factor. We love to see our audience having fun, laughing, and smiling at us in face-to-face presentations. Could it be that because we do not get that reward virtually, we forget to infuse our virtual events with fun? Often times, we miss the stories, the humor, and the friendly banter. Make notes on your script to include these elements and it will really help you come alive virtually.
A - Activities. It is so boring for me to just sit and listen, sometimes watch the computer screen, when I attend these virtual events. In the classroom, we ask the participants to raise their hands, stand up and stretch, take notes, answer questions, and other activities (some of these are very creative and engaging) to reinforce learning, and yes, keep them awake. There are many underused techniques in virtual space that presenters are ignoring. Even the really user-friendly emoticons and chat features are often times left untouched. Sophisticated attendees will often use these on their own. The presenter needs to bring these to the audience attention and remind them that these are available for their use and prompt them to use these features by asking questions. There are many more activities that we can include in virtual events -- breakout sessions, whiteboard, blogging, interactive workbooks, and many others. Activities keep our audience engaged, awake, and interested.
C - Collaboration. Notice how participants in the classroom might whisper something to those sitting next to them? Or maybe scribble a note? Do they come alive when we divide them into small groups so they can talk to each other and exchange ideas? People love to come together and collaborate to learn from each other. What are we doing to include these in our virtual events? Many of the attendees have great information to share. Are we making time and encouraging the collaboration? Even a simple Q&A session can encourage this to happen naturally. Often times because of time constraints, we forego this exchange of ideas. Build it into the time, it is so essential for participants to feel they are really a part of the event.
E - Energy. Many of us (we may not realize it) do not project our voice energy over the air waves like we do in face-to-face presentations. Somehow, it gets toned down. Realize that when our audience just have the audio to go by, we need to really focus on energizing our presence. In face-to-face events, the audience see our gestures, our body language, and our eye contact. Not so over the air. Our audio, specifically, our voices, can make or break the event. How is your voice energy? Record yourself and see if you are coming across as the alive, passionate, and enthusiastic facilitator that you are. Is your smile coming through? Is your passion coming through? Try this - smile, walk around, gesture while you speak through the mouthpiece or the microphone. This will make a great difference on how your voice comes through.
On the other hand, if you come across with too much energy, you may drain your audience as they try to keep up with extremely high energy level. In face-to-face, too much energy can be easily defused by visual elements. Your gestures, body language, other visual props in the room can balance high level auditory input. Over the air waves, the focus is so strong on your voice that a long high-energy delivery can be exciting at first, but draining, if not tempered.
Achieving a balance is essential. Mix it up!

So what's missing when we transition from face-to-face to virtual? Most of these events leave the FACE behind, remember to keep yours. Have Fun, Activities, Collaboration, and Energy, and watch :-) your virtual presentations come alive. Read Full Article!

The Magic 4H’s of an Award Winning Speech

2000 World Champion of Public Speaking, Ed Tate, shared these tips in an educational session at a Toastmasters International Convention. Try using these in creating your speeches.



H-heart. Your speech should touch your audience emotions. Include a touching real life story, a motivational quotation, a passionate plea that opens your audience’s hearts.

H-head. Your audience wants to be fed with intelligent facts. Your speech should address this need by including good research, meaningful statistics, and supporting materials.

H-humor. Never underestimate the power of humor in delivering your message. This allows your audience to enjoy listening and paying closer attention. Edutainment is a current trend – entertainment while you educate.

H-heavy duty. You should have a heavy-duty message. Give your audience something significant, meaningful and useful, something that will enrich their lives.

Next time you are up for that speech, use these 4H’s tips and watch your speech come alive. ¨

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The "Accidental" Writer

Many of us aspire in our hearts to be writers. Speaking and writing seem like natural twins. One adds power to the other. Writing gives one credibility as an expert in his field, so we want to add this to our repertoire.

When a few friends got together for a New Year's celebration, John Smith passed a piece of paper around and asked us to write down our goals. A few of us wrote that we are going to get published in 2009. And I believe some of us truly will.

I am a big fan of goal setting, truly! But see, Sami never set a goal to be published. But she is; and she is making decent money for a beginning writer! Many have been setting goals every year to get published, and they're not. What did she do?
She wrote!


She just wrote. Ever since she was two years old, she was typing stuff into the old monochrome computer. She wrote when she was happy, when she went on a trip, when she was sad, especially when she was mad! She wrote stories, essays, and stuff! The girl can rant at 150 words a minute and you'd think the keyboard was a mini machine gun gone awry. Sami never had any formal training on writing, or getting published, or how to this, or how to that! She's very young and she's enjoying getting paid for what she does anyway.

I've been observing her for many years (she is my daughter) and I think it happened this way.

Reading. She reads a lot, I mean, a lot. I kept track of her reading list when she was quite young, and she scored 300+ books a year. Her reading choices are varied, from novels, scientific books, biographies, and the Internet.

Authenticity. Sami wrote about her passions and interests. She never pondered whether the topic was hot or not, whether it would "sell" or not. She never asked whether she'd score points with readers. She just wrote from her heart, using her authentic "voice". She wrote very privately; most of her blogging is hidden. She wrote for her own self-expression.

A learning attitude. She keeps an open mind and is always eager to learn. Mastering the science of research for her own satisfaction, she now gets paid to do it. A voracious self-taught learner, she has carved niches for her career as an artist (graphic, make-up, and visual), and writer...and who knows what future holds for this creative, hard-working, and resourceful young lady.

Facebook. She set up her Facebook profile after attending Michael Port's seminar. She was networking, not to get business out of it, but just to connect. Someone accidentally stumbled upon her writing and liked her style. So, she was offered the writing gig. She's now happily hanging out at bookstores researching and typing away. Doing what she loves and getting paid for it.



I'm sure she was born with that talent seeded in her heart and many of us are. There are probably many other qualities that went into her landing her accidental writing gig. In the meantime, I am so jealous that I am going to rub her head every chance I get, hoping to have that mojo rubbed into mine. I am also going to practice some of the points I wrote here and see if it works for me.

So, future writer, go to it, get writing! You and me both.





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Let the Real You Shine Through - with the Right Hat!

So, I bombed! Modesty aside, I know that I am an expert trainer, I've been doing these for years and I feel very happy with it. It is my element! The other day, I was discussing a management training that I will be facilitating next week and I felt so inept. It was a meeting and I was wearing my meeting hat, the other party expected me to wear my trainer hat. What a miscommunication!

Which hat are you wearing for the occasion?



So, there I was at a one-on-one meeting, just chatting away, talking aloud to myself and her, thinking we were brainstorming. Unbeknownst to me, my client was expecting a mock training, with the bells and whistles. She is my ideal client, love working with her. She is smart and talented, very accommodating, and friendly. We’ve worked beautifully in the past. It was a surprise when I received a voice mail and an email communicating her many doubts about my performance. Oh! I felt so down! How could she have all these misgivings about my abilities? So, I went shopping! I sulked! I got depressed!

I know the material. Yet I doubted my ability to deliver it due to her feedback. So, I took out my recorder and did a mock training for my dogs. I listened to the recording and it was awesome! I was back in the driver’s seat! I felt so excited and ready!

This made me ask the question, “Are we conscious about which hat we are wearing for the various occasions in our lives?”

We have many hats hanging on the rack. For me, I have the mom hat, the friend hat, business hat, the coach hat, trainer hat, speaker hat, the cook hat, the sister hat, the daughter hat…and many more of various shapes, colors, tones, nuances. I am very big about being authentic… and I should add, with the right hat for the specific situation.

For instance, when I am hanging out with Sami, and I do that a lot, I sometimes forget to change hats from trainer to mom, or friend. Boy, does that annoy her! I will be going on and on, step by step, about how to drive to Starbucks. Note – we go there twice a day!

Or, I am having lunch with my sister, and I am wearing the mom hat, and that doesn’t go very well either. It would be a disaster if I wear the daughter hat to a client’s meeting!

Of course, I put on my "Sorry, I goofed" hat and quickly explained to my client what happened with the meeting. I am hoping she'll understand and things will go on smoothly from there. I know it will. We have great emotional bank deposits with each other.

During our busy day, as we navigate from one activity to another, it pays to seriously consider and ask the question, “Which hat am I wearing?” Definitely, let the real you shine through, with the right hat!

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Dare to Be Authetic

"Do not cringe and make yourself small if you are called the black sheep, the maverick, the lone wolf. Those with slow seeing say a nonconformist is a blight on society. But it has been proven over the centuries, that being different means standing at the edge, means one is practically guaranteed to make an original contribution, a useful and stunning contribution to her culture." (p.212, Women Who Run with Wolves)


The most impressive speakers I have heard and seen are those who care not to impress. Instead of "acting" in their speeches, they dare to be themselves, to be the unique individuals that they are.



There are many "cookie-cutter" styles of speaking. The do's and don'ts so to speak. But few venture to really understand what works for them and what doesn't. I believe that when we speak in public, it should be an extension of our private expressions. Everyone has some very interesting passions that are begging to be shared. More often than not, we want to stand on safe grounds. To seek to fit in. Trying to fit in has deadened or killed many individuals' unique messages or their way of self-expression.

Next time, you stand in front of a group to deliver a speech, make a conscious effort to do something different from the rest. Find at least one unique thing about you that you can share with your audience. It may be a thought, a story, or a way of saying something.

Bring forth something fresh from within you. Dare to let the real you shine through.
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From the Soul

"When it comes to the requirements for pleasing an audience, all the knowledge and instruction and apparatus in the world is worth less than one ounce of soul." - Ottawa Keyes

You may have seen the best techniques, gizmos, and eloquence employed by a presenter and something was missing. And you may have experienced listening to a presenter who wasn't totally polished yet left you with a fullness and satisfaction from the time you spent with him.

It is sharing from the S-O-U-L that makes all the difference.

S: Sincerity. Your audience will quickly sense whether you are coming from the heart or just faking it. Psyche yourself up so you deliver a message that you truly believe in and are passionate about. Then, you do not have to feign sincerity, you will be talking from that very essence.
How can I be sincere about presenting a class in PowerPoint? I do get excited about animation, transitions, tips, and tricks. Templates on the web get my blood pumping as well. Nerdy, perhaps! But just taking a little time to find something that you can sincerely be excited about goes a long way in communicating that to your audience.
What if I need to present something that truly runs against my grain? I probably will have to beg off and not take the engagement.

O - U: Only U. You are the only one who can give the message in your own unique way. Discover your own style, your own giftedness. If you try to copy somebody else, you'll only end up second best. But you can always be the best you. Learn from experts and observe good techniques. But find out what makes you special and unique and project that uniqueness in your work.

L: Life, Love, Learning. Share of yourself. This is where soul somes from - your experiences, lessons learned, your passion. Quit trying to impress. The best messages are those that come from being human.

Soul, remember to put a great dose of it in your next presentation. You'll experience an exhiliration, energy, and enthusiasm that will make you love every moment of your session. More important, it will give your audience the best of you that they deserve.

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