Showing posts with label public speaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label public speaking. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The 3 P's of Authentic Speaking

Public Speaking has been a very intimidating pursuit for many. Experienced speakers have established countless forbidding guidelines that make many aspiring speakers cringed and at times, give up. The gurus have dictated their defined "rules" as if they are proven scientific facts: the way a speaker looks, the way a speaker moves, the way a speaker talks, and a million other pointers. These have made it so impossible for some potentially great speakers who may not fall within the common standards. I have seen some speakers with life-changing messages give up because their foreign accents, the way they look, their voices have been criticized so mercilessly that they withdraw from sharing their messages to audiences who may need their words of wisdom. We cannot all be Tony Robbins or Katy Couric. Following tips from experts isn't bad at all, it may even be very helpful. But not if it sabotages the authentic you; take what applies to you and improve your skills within what is possible for you. We have our own unique style, and it might be just what the world needs to hear and see. Let's simplify speaking by letting our authentic self with our authentic message shine through with these simple 3 P's tips.

Passion. You've heard this many times, I know. But really, this is where it all begins. If you do not believe in your message, it will come through and you will immediately lose your credibility with the audience. Speak about what you believe in, speak about your loves, your convictions, your joys, your causes. Faking it just because a topic happens to be "hot", even if you don't believe in what you are speaking about, will not cut it. So, find your true passion and let that be the foundation of your speaking.

Personality. Your personality is a combination of your life and work experiences, your knowledge and education, the way you look, your voice, your humor, your personal stories, your family history, your culture of origin. For many years, I've tried to copy female newscasters - Katy Couric, Sharon Tay, and a few others. Although my speeches were well received, they were just okay. These speakers are a hit with audiences because they are who they are. I was trying to be but a poor copy. I can't really identify the point when I decided to speak as who I am, it has been a few years ago, but I got up and loosened up. I looked at the audience as my close friends and talked to them as if I was at the dinner table, let my hair down and be me. Modestly speaking, I grew exponentially in my speaking. Many times, I was a hit :-)! Though professional, I am a bit mischievous and brought out the friendly bantering that I enjoy sharing with friends. I've never thought of myself as being funny, but when I loosened up, the audiences were laughing with me. I discovered a part of myself that enhanced my speaking.
Discover your strengths and project those in your speaking instead to trying to copy somebody else's style. Do you tell picturesque stories about your country of origin? Are you good with the oratorical style or the more conversational mode? Are you serious or laid-back? Are you great at humor? Use your own strengths. You have many, ask your friends and family to help you identify them. Give those gifts to your audience in your speaking.

Play. We take ourselves (our egos) too seriously. We need to take our work, the preparation that goes with good speaking, and our messages seriously. But when the time comes to deliver, why not try to play with it. Play brings out the fun in us. It allows us to relax about ourselves and keep our focus on the game. Basically, it allows us to park our egos and devote our attention to reaching the game's goals - in this case, having your audience receive your message. When we play team games, we work with the team. In public speaking, your team is your audience. With the spirit of play, you involve your audience, you allow them their space and their moments of glory, too. You may be the captain at this game, but your audience rises from the passive bench warmer to a team player. You look at your audience differently when you realize that you cannot force them to receive your message, but if you allow them to play on the team, they are now also involved in achieving the goal. Needless to say, they will have more fun listening to you and you will have more fun speaking.

Next time you are tempted to mold yourself after someone else, think about these 3 P's of authentic speaking, and be the best YOU that you can be.
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The "Accidental" Writer

Many of us aspire in our hearts to be writers. Speaking and writing seem like natural twins. One adds power to the other. Writing gives one credibility as an expert in his field, so we want to add this to our repertoire.

When a few friends got together for a New Year's celebration, John Smith passed a piece of paper around and asked us to write down our goals. A few of us wrote that we are going to get published in 2009. And I believe some of us truly will.

I am a big fan of goal setting, truly! But see, Sami never set a goal to be published. But she is; and she is making decent money for a beginning writer! Many have been setting goals every year to get published, and they're not. What did she do?
She wrote!


She just wrote. Ever since she was two years old, she was typing stuff into the old monochrome computer. She wrote when she was happy, when she went on a trip, when she was sad, especially when she was mad! She wrote stories, essays, and stuff! The girl can rant at 150 words a minute and you'd think the keyboard was a mini machine gun gone awry. Sami never had any formal training on writing, or getting published, or how to this, or how to that! She's very young and she's enjoying getting paid for what she does anyway.

I've been observing her for many years (she is my daughter) and I think it happened this way.

Reading. She reads a lot, I mean, a lot. I kept track of her reading list when she was quite young, and she scored 300+ books a year. Her reading choices are varied, from novels, scientific books, biographies, and the Internet.

Authenticity. Sami wrote about her passions and interests. She never pondered whether the topic was hot or not, whether it would "sell" or not. She never asked whether she'd score points with readers. She just wrote from her heart, using her authentic "voice". She wrote very privately; most of her blogging is hidden. She wrote for her own self-expression.

A learning attitude. She keeps an open mind and is always eager to learn. Mastering the science of research for her own satisfaction, she now gets paid to do it. A voracious self-taught learner, she has carved niches for her career as an artist (graphic, make-up, and visual), and writer...and who knows what future holds for this creative, hard-working, and resourceful young lady.

Facebook. She set up her Facebook profile after attending Michael Port's seminar. She was networking, not to get business out of it, but just to connect. Someone accidentally stumbled upon her writing and liked her style. So, she was offered the writing gig. She's now happily hanging out at bookstores researching and typing away. Doing what she loves and getting paid for it.



I'm sure she was born with that talent seeded in her heart and many of us are. There are probably many other qualities that went into her landing her accidental writing gig. In the meantime, I am so jealous that I am going to rub her head every chance I get, hoping to have that mojo rubbed into mine. I am also going to practice some of the points I wrote here and see if it works for me.

So, future writer, go to it, get writing! You and me both.





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Thursday, November 27, 2008

From the Soul

"When it comes to the requirements for pleasing an audience, all the knowledge and instruction and apparatus in the world is worth less than one ounce of soul." - Ottawa Keyes

You may have seen the best techniques, gizmos, and eloquence employed by a presenter and something was missing. And you may have experienced listening to a presenter who wasn't totally polished yet left you with a fullness and satisfaction from the time you spent with him.

It is sharing from the S-O-U-L that makes all the difference.

S: Sincerity. Your audience will quickly sense whether you are coming from the heart or just faking it. Psyche yourself up so you deliver a message that you truly believe in and are passionate about. Then, you do not have to feign sincerity, you will be talking from that very essence.
How can I be sincere about presenting a class in PowerPoint? I do get excited about animation, transitions, tips, and tricks. Templates on the web get my blood pumping as well. Nerdy, perhaps! But just taking a little time to find something that you can sincerely be excited about goes a long way in communicating that to your audience.
What if I need to present something that truly runs against my grain? I probably will have to beg off and not take the engagement.

O - U: Only U. You are the only one who can give the message in your own unique way. Discover your own style, your own giftedness. If you try to copy somebody else, you'll only end up second best. But you can always be the best you. Learn from experts and observe good techniques. But find out what makes you special and unique and project that uniqueness in your work.

L: Life, Love, Learning. Share of yourself. This is where soul somes from - your experiences, lessons learned, your passion. Quit trying to impress. The best messages are those that come from being human.

Soul, remember to put a great dose of it in your next presentation. You'll experience an exhiliration, energy, and enthusiasm that will make you love every moment of your session. More important, it will give your audience the best of you that they deserve.

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